The Pitch Nobody Asked For

I walked away and immediately threw his business card in the trash.

Let me back up. I was at a large networking event, open format, just walk around and meet people. I started up a conversation with a gentleman and within the first minute he was off. Explaining his coaching business, who he works with, how he helps them. He didn't give me much opportunity to ask questions or share anything about myself. He handed me his card before I'd barely said a word.

By minute two I was scanning the room for an exit. I finally made up something about needing to use the restroom just to escape. And yes, the card went straight in the trash. I wanted nothing to do with him, and I wouldn't have referred him to anyone either.

Here's what was actually happening in that moment. I was at the very beginning of the buying stages, best understood through what I call the Trust Gauge.

The buying stages are curious, interested, and committed. Curious means someone is open to learning about you, nothing more. That openness is valuable and fragile. Push too hard at the curious stage and you don't just stall the relationship. You lose it entirely.

That gentleman emptied the trust bank before he'd deposited anything into it. Because he never once signaled he was curious about me. I was just a fresh lead to pitch.

The right approach at the curious stage is simpler than most people think. A short, clear introduction that speaks to who you serve and the benefit you give your clients. Then stop. Pause. Let there be space. If something triggered their curiosity, they'll ask. If they change the subject, that's information too.

The goal isn't a sales conversation yet. That comes later, when the trust is there. The goal is a genuine exchange that leaves the other person wanting to learn more, followed by a natural next step that keeps building on that foundation. A LinkedIn connection, a relevant resource, a coffee. The right next step depends on where they are on the gauge, not on what you're ready to sell.

Your Trust Style, the blend of personality traits that shapes how you naturally communicate and build relationships, directly influences how you show up at the curious stage. Some styles lead with too much energy and miss the signals that the other person has checked out. Others are so comfortable letting the other person lead that they never create a path forward. Neither extreme moves someone from curious to interested. That's the work.

How are you creating opportunities to continue the conversation and move someone from curious to interested, without being pushy or salesy?

Keep showing up.

Take the quiz to know your trust style