The Call That Wasn't Luck

The phone rings. It's someone you've known for a while, so you gladly pick up. What they say feels completely unexpected.

Hey, I think I need to work with you. When are you available to talk about what a working relationship would look like?

It feels like luck. Like the stars aligned. Like they just happened to think of you at the right moment.

It wasn't luck. You just didn't see it happening.

Every time that person encountered you, something was happening in their head. They read something you wrote and it resonated. They heard you explain what you do and it stuck. They noticed how you handled a situation and filed it away. Each one of those moments deposited something into what I call their token bank. And at some point, without announcing it, their scale tipped from curious to interested, and eventually from interested to committed. That call felt like serendipity because you weren't watching the scale move. But it was moving the whole time.

Here's where this gets important. Most business owners are waiting for that call to come. They're doing good work, showing up, being likable, and hoping the right people eventually reach out. What they don't realize is that the token bank doesn't fill itself. Trust is built through specific interactions, and some of those interactions carry far more weight than others. A one-on-one conversation deposits more than a LinkedIn like. A referral from someone they already trust deposits more than a cold introduction. The activities that move someone from curious to interested are not the same ones that move them from interested to committed.

And then there's the other side of this. The proposal that got crickets. The sales conversation that felt great but went nowhere. The price might have been out of budget. The timing might have been off. Those things can absolutely be true. But here's what trust changes in that equation. When trust is well established, people tell you why they can't say yes just yet. They let you in. When trust isn't there, they quietly disappear. They ghost the proposal, ignore the problem that brought them to you in the first place, or find someone else without a word. The silence isn't about your price. It's about whether they felt safe enough to be honest with you.

When I work through these challenges with my clients, I always consider their Trust Style. Your personality has a direct connection to the areas where you naturally create trust, almost effortlessly, and where you struggle. There's also the friction that can exist between your Trust Style and your client's. Recognizing which activities are most natural and impactful for you, and which areas need some skill building or shifting, changes how you approach every stage of the relationship, from curious all the way to committed.

So the next time a call comes out of nowhere, celebrate it. And then consider what was actually happening behind the scenes to lead to that moment. How had you been filling that token bank? Chances are you'll find a pattern worth repeating.

Discover your trust style